Can You Change Your Personality?

Understanding Personality Flexibility

Personality refers to consistent patterns in how we think, feel, and behave. For decades, traits were seen as stable and enduring. But modern research shows that personality is more dynamic than once believed. While certain core tendencies remain relatively consistent, traits can and do shift in response to life events, motivation, therapy, habits, and self-reflection.

The HEXACO model includes six dimensions—Honesty-Humility, Emotionality, Extraversion, Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, and Openness to Experience—all of which show some capacity for change across a person’s lifetime.

Which Traits Are Most Likely to Change?

Longitudinal studies suggest that some traits are more malleable than others:

• Conscientiousness: Tends to increase with age and can be developed through structured habits.
• Agreeableness: Often increases with maturity and life experience, especially in social and parenting roles.
• Extraversion: Can shift based on environment and exposure, though core social energy levels remain somewhat stable.
• Emotionality: Can be reduced through therapy, mindfulness, and resilience-building techniques.
• Honesty-Humility: May shift with ethical development, worldview changes, or value realignments.
• Openness to Experience: Can increase through education, travel, and creative practice.

Intentional Personality Change

Contrary to the idea that personality is static, research shows people can change aspects of their personality through goal-directed effort. In fact, studies have found that when people *want* to change specific traits and take active steps over time, measurable shifts can occur.

For example, someone who wants to become more conscientious may start by organizing their daily tasks, building routines, and tracking goals. Over time, those behaviors reinforce the personality trait itself—not just the outcomes.

How Personality Change Works

There are several mechanisms through which personality traits may shift:

• Habits: Repeating a behavior consistently can influence underlying traits. For instance, being punctual regularly can strengthen conscientiousness.
• Life roles: Becoming a parent, leader, or caregiver can prompt changes in Agreeableness, Emotionality, or Honesty-Humility due to new responsibilities and perspectives.
• Therapy and coaching: Cognitive-behavioral interventions have been shown to increase emotional regulation, reduce anxiety, and enhance assertiveness.
• Feedback and reflection: Honest feedback from others (and from assessments like HEXACO) can help people recognize areas they want to change.
• Environmental factors: New cultures, workplaces, or social circles can encourage adaptation and openness to new traits.

HEXACO Traits and Change Examples

Honesty-Humility

Although often tied to early values, this trait can grow through ethical development, moral education, or confronting the impact of selfish behavior. Practicing gratitude, fairness, and humility can gradually strengthen this dimension.

Emotionality

Therapy, mindfulness, and stress-management techniques can reduce anxiety and dependence. Building emotional resilience often results in lower Emotionality scores over time.

Extraversion

While deep social energy levels may remain stable, social skills and comfort in group settings can increase through exposure and practice, leading to greater social confidence.

Agreeableness

This trait is highly influenced by empathy and perspective-taking. Conflict resolution training and relationship experience often foster greater patience and tolerance.

Conscientiousness

One of the most trainable traits. Time management, goal setting, and personal accountability structures (like checklists) can significantly enhance this dimension.

Openness to Experience

Though often linked to cognitive style, openness can expand through learning, art, and travel. The more someone explores, the more curious and open they tend to become.

Barriers to Change

Despite the possibility of personality development, certain factors may limit or slow progress:

• Lack of motivation: Change often requires sustained effort, which people may not be ready or willing to make.
• Unaware of tendencies: Many people aren’t fully aware of their patterns until someone else points them out.
• Fixed mindset: Believing "this is just who I am" can block growth.
• Environmental constraints: Unsupportive settings can limit opportunities to practice new behaviors.

How to Begin Changing a Trait

If you’re serious about reshaping part of your personality, here are some steps to consider:

1. Identify the trait you want to change. Be specific—e.g., “become more organized,” not just “better at life.”
2. Understand the behaviors associated with it. For example, conscientiousness includes punctuality, planning, and follow-through.
3. Set small, actionable goals. Build momentum with habits that reinforce your desired trait.
4. Track progress over time. Use journaling or feedback to notice gradual shifts.
5. Stay consistent and patient. Trait change is slow and happens over months or years—not days.

Personality Change: Myths vs. Reality

Conclusion

Yes, you can change your personality—if you want to. The HEXACO model shows us which traits define who we are today, but it doesn’t lock us into those traits forever. Through intention, environment, and practice, you can develop greater emotional balance, fairness, openness, self-discipline, and more. Growth isn’t about becoming someone else—it’s about becoming your best self.